Had some breakthroughs with the editing today. That's a good thing.

Took the kids to sports class, the two fussy, stomping their feet(Asher), laying on the ground(Clover), kids. After walking all the way to the baseball diamond, had to walk all the way back to the car to drive home for some time-out-time.

Stopped my ever advancing work to make a dinner that nobody wanted to eat. Hmp.

I cannot stomach watching footage from one day in particular. Handing out crayons, coloring paper, and plastic rings to boys and girls. It all seems so cheap. Two crayons, one piece of paper, and a compass ring that doesn't work. Seeing them lined up and wanting, wanting something but given not much at all. I can't write more. Right now I hate it and that's all I can say.

I hate being behind the camera. I hate being at a distance. I hate not talking to the people I'm watching. Sometimes it feels cheap and horrible.

Sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes.

Sometimes it's wonderful and it's all I want to do.

1 comment:

Aimee said...

Behind the camera is still one step closer than in front of the t.v.; but in front of the t.v. is still one step closer for me than not knowing at all. Can't wait to learn more, banana, from what you're doing.